I fell off my skateboard the other day. It was a similar fall to the one I sustained three years ago.

Back then, I was crossing the street, between buildings at work. I had two laptops tucked under my arm as I navigated the pebbles strewn about my path. Somehow I overlooked one of the rocks, and as the right-front wheel collided into it, the board skidded to a halt, sending me (and the precious computers) flying forward. Time slowed down. I twisted to the left in mid-air, to protect the laptops under my right arm, landing with heavy force on my left arm, the impact of which drove deep into the ribs on my left side.

It was agony.

The breath was knocked from my body, my vision was blurred from tears, and worst of all, my ego was shattered; some people had seen me! It was the cleaning crew, also crossing the street, though their wheeled device was far less dangerous. They were very nice and hurried over to offer me ayuda y agua. I refused. I was too embarrassed.

Eventually I was able to stand, and I gingerly limped to my office to lie down and hide from the world. My sacrifice was not in vain though; the laptops remained unscathed.

That was all over three years ago. Just three days ago I did something even stupider.

Exiting the main building, again at work, I was coasting down an access ramp near the loading dock. The ramp makes a sharp left followed by three short steps. For some unknown reason I decided to ollie down those stairs. This was stupid for a lot of reasons:

1. I haven’t been riding lately hardly at all, much less doing any fancy tricks
2. Because of the left turn, the approach is awkward
3. My decision to perform the jump was made hastily, in mid-ride, so I was unprepared
4. I just turned fucking 36 and who the hell do I think I am that I can still ollie down stairs???

At the base of the steps, once again my board stopped, and I kept going. This time at least there were no laptops to keep safe, so I was better able to cushion the fall. Also thankfully, there were no passersby to witness my tomfoolery.

But as before, it hurt like a mother-fucker, still does actually. Laughing, sneezing, and lying on my back are just some of the daily activities that now cause me great pain. And this is all following a nasty back spasm I suffered earlier in the summer when I thoughtlessly moved some heavy and bulky furniture by myself.

Whatever happened to age bringing wisdom? Where do I sign up for that?